Dear friends and family,
It finally happened - I got my 15 minutes of fame. You can all relax now. It happened the other night when we went to see the Beijing Acrobat show called "Reverie". China Culture Daily described the show as "very Cirque du Soleil", which sounded promising. We paid 100 yuan each for tickets. The pricing was a bit strange - 60 yuan for the front two rows, 100 for the next two, and so on up to a maximum of 300 yuan. The ticket agent explained that the front tickets were cheaper because the stage was quite high and the seats were on a slope - so people in the front would have to crane their necks.
We weren't disappointed. Although the show wasn't as polished as Cirque du Soleil, the music was very good, and the acrobats were fantastic - contortionists, pyramids of girls riding on bikes, boys leaping through rings like monkeys, girls lying on their backs twirling giant umbrellas with their feet, and so on. Part way through the show, a clown came out, left the stage, walked right up to me (sitting near the end of row 3), and hauled me up on stage. He explained in pantomime that I had to imitate him, and handed me an umbrella identical to the one he was carrying. He proceeded to carry on like ... well, like a clown. I was forced to wiggle my umbrella, wave it about like a sword, dance to 50's music, and other embarrassing acts. Whenever I started losing my enthusiasm (every 15 seconds or so) he goaded me on with vigorous hand gestures. It wouldn't have been all that humiliating had it not been captured on film. Fortunately I'm blurry:
At least the clown gave me a thank-you gift as I walked off the stage: A small colourful umbrella with the words "Happy To You!" printed on a pink label.
Later in the show, the clown came out again and Madeleine got tapped. She had to do a sort of disappearing act in which she went behind a cloth barrier and came out seconds later transformed into the Great Helmsman. (Well at least we think that's what the joke was supposed to be.)
It's now clear to us why the front seats are cheaper. If any of you come to visit and want to see the Beijing Acrobats, we're sitting in the VIP section.
We also visited Ditan Temple during Chinese New Year, which was set up as a gigantic fair (similar to the White Clouds Temple which we'd visited a few days earlier). It was packed with food stalls, performances, games, and so on. (You may have already seen the pictures and sound clips on our web site.) The coolest part was an extreme rollerblading show, with a group of talented kids doing twists and flips on rollerblades going up and down steep inclines. There's a sound clip on our web site of one of the jumps - you can hear the announcer, and the taped music and accompanying drums.
As Kim mentioned in her last report, we recently bought a pair of powered speakers with a subwoofer from the Hongqiao market - for 180 yuan, or about CAD $30. I wanted to add one detail. They have a great brand name: OKAY-II V3.0. The "OKAY" name is sort of campy, and adding the "-II V3.0" tries - but doesn't quite manage - to make it sound high-tech. The packaging features an image of a smiling, matronly Chinese woman with eyeglasses, big hair and a zebra blouse. She's sort of alarming actually. I wondered if she might be the owner of the OKAY corporation, since... well there must be some reason they chose her picture to put on the box. Anyway the speakers look cool (wavy blue front panel and violet backlight) and they sound excellent.
Today marks exactly four weeks since our arrival in Beijing. We're starting to get used to ordering food at restaurants, despite the fact that we can't read most menus and still speak minimal Mandarin. When we get into serious trouble, we ask for dishes by name, or for dishes that we can describe in baby words. To truly understand what this feels like, you have to imagine a parallel situation at home, with a foreigner trying to order western food in English with a similar level of competence:
Waiter: Good afternoon, welcome to our restaurant. Will you be having lunch or just something to drink?
Customer, speaking slowly with an accent: Hello. (smiles at waiter)
Waiter (hesitates, then recovers): Right. Let me come back with a menu. (brings one)
Customer: Do you have eggs?
Waiter: Of course. What would you like? Scrambled? Omelet? Sunny side up? Over easy?
Customer: I don't understand. Could you speak slower please? I'd like eggs.
Waiter (slower): I said, would you like your eggs scrambled, fried, or some other way?
Customer (having recognized the word "eggs", and sensing a generally positive response): Good. Two. I would like two eggs, please.
Waiter (feeling uncertain): I'm not sure exactly what you want. Would scrambled eggs be all right?
Customer: Um, cow eggs, please. Wait! That's not right. (consults dictionary) Chicken eggs, okay?
Waiter (grinning): Fine. I'll bring a nice dish of scrambled eggs.
The main reason we've been eating so well is that Beijing waiters have been patient with us and have added a considerable amount of detail to our dinner orders. (Of course, many restaurants also have English menus or photos of the dishes.)
In other news, I have discovered the mother of all computer stores. We were walking around the Haidian district after a nice stroll through Beijing University (see Kim's ice skating pictures), trying to find something to eat for lunch - when we stumbled across an enormous six-story building with high-tech company logos plastered all over. There was a Starbuck's Cafe on the ground floor, so we knew there had to be food in there somewhere. As we approached, hawkers waved foil packages at us containing mysterious computer parts. "Take a look! Take a look! Very cheap!" I didn't, so I have no idea what they were selling. I think their approach needs work. Or maybe they should try using transparent packaging. Anyway, the building - as far as the eye could see - was crammed with booths full of electronics - DVD players, cell phones, laptop and desktop computers, peripherals, soldering irons, switches, wiring, and so on. It made Future Shop look like the Flintstones. There was a huge cafeteria on the top floor, so we even got lunch. I'm rather hoping one of my computer gadgets wears out so I can have an excuse to go back there. (The pins on Kim's ethernet adaptor are getting a bit loose. And I may need a printer around tax time. Hmmm.)
Finally - we were subjected to a fair amount of Chinese pop music during the televised entertainment for Chinese New Year. The lyrics tend to be painfully sentimental or patriotic. This passage from one upbeat pop tune was shown on TV with subtitles, enabling me to jot it down for your reading enjoyment:
He was standing in the plains
Water flowing all around him
Standing resolute
Never shirking his duty
For the love of his country
I'm not sure what his duty was, maybe sewer engineer. Anyway I'm glad he was resolute, but I hope I don't have to listen to that song again.
My apologies but I don't have a Chinglish example for this posting. In a magazine I recently saw a picture of a sign in a park reading "Welcome To Your New Boning Park!" But I don't think it's sporting to get my examples from a magazine. I'll report the next good one I see with my own eyes.
Take care. We miss you,
- Joe (and Kim)